So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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