Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
