I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
