Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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