marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
