So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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