Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
tequila makes me forget i have legs
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
