Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
