In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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