woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
