We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
