We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
