Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
