Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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