Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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