Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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