Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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