..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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