I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
