I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
