I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
