i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He did a backflip because drugs
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
