I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
