Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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