he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
