Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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