Duck Duck Cougar?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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