I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
