"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
