"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
