idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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