Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
