I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
