Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
