She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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