OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
