I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
