those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
