Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
