TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
