my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
