I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
