anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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