If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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