worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well I just put wine in my tea
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
