I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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