There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize