just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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