I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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