just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
