it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize