I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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