another moral hangover. fuck.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
