their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
