Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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