Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
