I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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