Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Barsexuality is the new black.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
