I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
