your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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