rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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