you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
