first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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