Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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